so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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