Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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