I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
