I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
