Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
