pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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