Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize