I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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