i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
