Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
