Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize