He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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