WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
