i permit you to call me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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