I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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