i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
