just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
