And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Your penis caused this!
I had to cum in my sink.
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