we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
