btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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