Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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