I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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