Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
