quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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