Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Green mimosas i think yes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
