i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
