AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
