I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
