The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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