I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
