I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
