it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
