Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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