If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
