She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
