New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
