I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
