i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize