What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize