I cockslap morals
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
