How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
