i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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