at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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