Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Non-Jews are for practice
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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