I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
