dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
