Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
