Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize