That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
