But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
