"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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