a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You work out of a Hotel?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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