1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
