Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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