My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
