paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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