she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize