need another drink. this is the easiest way
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize