soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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