Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
