I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
