You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
