Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
